I mentioned in this last post, but i feel like I must reiterate.
I HAVE NO GAME.
I haven’t had a first date since the eleventh grade when Cam asked me out. All my friends were made either by being randomly assigned to live with me freshmen year, or by being stuck in hellish classes and commiserating together. I haven’t had to ask for someone’s phone number without MUCH preface and a scholastic reason in almost a decade. Add on to that a healthy dose of awkward introverted-ness and analysis paralysis, and I make an AWESOME conversationalist.
This makes cold-starting conversations with strangers on an app fairly difficult. Apparently most people on the app feel that way too, since about 1 out of 4 starts a conversation with me first. About the first four days after signing up, despite matching at least four times, I couldn’t get a message out. Literally analysis paralysis: “No, that sounds dumb.” “No, that’s trying too hard.” “Stupid.” “Weird.” “Stalker.” “Blaaaaaah!”
And then someone sent me this message: “Hey! Cute dogs!”
Ok, that’s a harmless message, but it was a total ice breaker for this whole process for me. I didn’t have to be witty, or funny, or impressive on a first message. So I started chatting with several people on the apps! Not all panned out, but I set up a couple of “dates!” As Fallon said, it’s kind of awesome getting to date while married (while not cheating on my husband).
Hey! Vina Date #1: Ramen and Writing
My first date was over writing with a fellow anime fan and aspiring writer. This was (what I assume is) a typical first date. We had pretty good conversation and some good food (seafood ramen at Soma Sushi on Washington gets so many stars), avoided each other’s direct gaze most of the date, and left saying maybe we should double date with our husbands next time at another ramen place. It was good, fun, and normal. A+ in my book.
Hey! Vina Date #2: Beer and Bibimbap
My second date was with a cool girl working on her Master’s here in town. We met at Republic Diner + Sojubang for Korean food and beers. A Live Oak Hef and a bowl of bibimbap, and I can be a nice, normal, chatty person. We hung out for two hours at the bar talking about school, our dogs, and annoying people. My favorite subjects! We’ve even got a follow up date to a jazz bar in another week!
So there you have it! We’re off to a good start!